“Say it loud, say it clear. You can listen as well as you hear.”
The epic chorus from this power ballad by Mike + The Mechanics still hits after all these years.
Not a lot of subtext to uncover in this one, nor is there any huge backstory of which I was previously unaware. You can’t tell your dad the things you’ve wanted to tell him if he’s already passed on.
I grew up believing this. This song has always hit me right in the feels and I remember it being number one on the radio.
Maybe Mike Rutherford knows something I don’t. Maybe the messaging we are always fed through popular culture, that family is with you right to the end, and in the end, that’s all you have… that you need to treasure your family because regret will seep in when it’s too late… maybe these messages are true and real and maybe there are people who shake their heads at those who just won’t listen.
But I have developed another narrative, one that has made my life infinitely better over the past decade or so and, so far, zero regrets.
Maybe there is a line with family, and maybe, once crossed, you can never go back.
Maybe forgiving, even if you are not forgetting, opens a door behind which lies more hurt and disappointment.
Maybe instead of mourning the family you’ve lost, you make your own family out of the people who are actually positive influences in your life. Who you know will be there for you, thick or thin.
This song still hits me hard because I’m a sucker for a story steeped in nostalgia and the idea of a son living with that kind of regret is truly heart-breaking, but I no longer personally identify with the song, nor believe in its core message.
Sometimes, family goes too far and you are better off without them.
As it turns out, you can choose your family.
Let’s normalize that message.
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Okay, whoa, touched a nerve there and that was not what I was really intending to write when I came to this song on my list, I was prepared to dig into the story behind the song as I usually do, but this is what came out.
Hard to lighten the mood of this post, it’s not a light song.
So let’s keep on emoting, shall we.
Check out these two reacting to all of the feels when they hear the song for the first time.
Pause at 2:32 when they both realize exactly what the song is about.
I’m not saying the message and the warning of future regret is not something people should hear… this is a powerful message and a powerful song delivering it.
All I’m saying is if that is not your story, that’s completely fine as well.
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Further Reading
For a fairly comprehensive look at the story behind the song, which is normally what I would have written about here, check out this post from Sterogum’s series – The Number Ones.